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Outgrowing the Pain: A Book for and About Adults Abused As Children, by Eliana Gil
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“Anyone who had a troubled childhood ought to read this book.”—Anne H. Cohn, D.P.H., Executive Director, National Committee for Prevention of Child AbuseDo you have trouble finding friends, lovers, acquaintances?Once you find them, do they dump on you, take advantage of you, or leave?Are you in a relationship you know isn't good for you?Are you still trying to figure out what you want to do when you grow up?Are you drinking too much, eating too much or trying to numb your pain with drugs of any kind?These are just a few of the problems abused children experience when they become adults.You may not realize you were abused. You may think your parents didn't mean it, didn't know better, or that others had it much worse. You may not even have made the connection between the past and your current problems.Outgrowing the Pain is an important book for any adult who was abused or neglected in childhood. It's an important book for professionals who help others. It's a book of questions that can pinpoint and illuminate destructive patterns. The answers you discover can lead to a life filled with new insight, hope, and love.“The best book available to help survivors cope and understand.”—Dan Sexton, Director, Childhelp's National Abuse Hotline“An invaluable aid for adult survivors of child abuse.”—Suzanne M. Sgroi, M.D., Executive Director, New England Clinical Associates
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Product details
Paperback: 96 pages
Publisher: Dell; Reissue edition (February 1, 1988)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0440500060
ISBN-13: 978-0440500063
Product Dimensions:
5.4 x 0.2 x 8 inches
Shipping Weight: 3.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
3.9 out of 5 stars
118 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#73,385 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
What the book does well is help people understand that what they experienced in their family of origin WAS abuse. It's not them. That they are not alone. Help is available. At $9.99 the "book" is grossly overpriced. It is closer to a pamphlet or an outline. The language is at a Grammer school level, complete with larger type and illustrations. As the book states, there are only questions.. no answers.. few details.. And little about what to do next. I feel the book was mis-titled, and that it is not a good value for the money.
If you are a survivor or know a survivor this book can help explain some of the strange feelings and unexpected difficulties that may be suddenly popping up out of the blue or that have been festering and worrying you for years. I was first introduced to this book by my therapist after I suddenly stopped being able to function at work. I had no idea why... I had been out of the abuse cycle for several years and had never let it interfere with my work before but suddenly I was stuck. While the book by itself did not solve my issues, it did help me understand why they had suddenly popped up. I would recommend any survivor to read this book but to also read the webpages that come up when you google search "PTSD and the brain"; it really helps to know the effects that events way in the past have had permanently on your body and brain so that you can heal yourself.
My counselor recommended this book for me to read. I'm glad I took the time to purchase and read it. I have struggled for years not knowing why I was different from other people I know. I have also struggled with personal relationships throughout my whole life. I've always felt like I was different in a negative way from others. I never felt like I fit in with society as a whole. I've read other reviews on here, and I believe that some people expect to be "fixed" after reading this book. The author explains that if more help is needed that there are other books you can read, or to seek professional help. This book helps you to identify if you were in fact an abused child, and it helps to identify possible situations, or types of people you may have been or are now due to abuse. I could relate to what the author wrote in many ways. I think identifying the cause is a huge first step to any recovery of any kind, and there is no such thing as a quick fix. It's going to take time and effort from you and possibly your loved ones. I plan on reading this book a few times to help me identify more clearly what happened to me so I can go over these things with my counselor. I know it's going to take time, but I was able to finally read about why I am the way I am. I recommend this book to anyone who has struggled with thoughts of their past, and how it may be holding them back in their lives currently.
Interesting little book. Written very much like a self help manual, however much of the help is to identify and understand what might be happening in the wake of abuse. I've referred it to a couple of patients. I think most appropriate for younger folKS 16 to 25ish, due to the presentation, but I like the content as well. Might be helpful for family members, but I get the feeling with the direct nature of this, that there might not be enough for the uninjured family member to get a hold of.
I am a therapist and I recommend this book to adult and young adult clients who are interested in understanding and working through sexual abuse histories. It is a great way to initiate discussion about the history of abuse because it is very short and easy to read. It has some goofy/cartoon-ish pictures that illustrate the ways people feel about themselves and others as a result of their abuse, but the little cartoon images get to the heart of some of the hardest things about living with trauma and PTSD.The only complaint that I have is that the book assumes the perpetrator of the sexual abuse was by a parent, and this is obviously not always the case. I wish the references to the abuser were less specific, but it is not so much that it can't still be used for people who were abused by non-family members.This book could be used by someone who wants to work on trauma issues on their own, but I recommend finding a professional with training in sexual abuse, trauma issues, and PTSD to help!I recommend all of Eliana Gil's work!
This book was 👌 ok but not great. I was looking for something with more substance. Not wonderful. My iPad keeps telling me to write more words but I can’t.
This book helps validate, further explain and define abuse and it's impact. Whether you are just starting the journal of healing or have been on that road a long time, you will find the topics thoughtful, brief and insightful. I personally found it to be a great way to provoke more internal dialogue on my own healing process and my husband felt it gave him some insight into my life-long struggle.
This book gave me good insight into the topic. I would say it's a good starter. Well written, pretty short, and well structured. It's a good book for anyone that was abused when hey were a child, for anyone who is not sure that happened to them and for people who want to help or be here for someone that was abused in childhood.
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